Learning how to forgive yourself and others
When people hold grudges against someone, they hold heavy emotions, which are harmful. And by being harmful, one can imagine the hurt this does to a person. These negative charges or emotions are unsuitable for mental or physical health, the immune system gets affected, and people tend to suffer anger issues affecting them and their lives.
Forgiveness is releasing anger, resentment, grudges, and any heavy emotions that only weigh you down and affect you. You could be holding on to these negative emotions while the other person is somewhere enjoying their life, and you are not even on their mind. Do you see what I am trying to say? You are only harming yourself and no one else.
“By letting go, you learn to heal. Forgiveness is healing”
By forgiveness, we don’t mean that you forget what the others did to you and allow them to do it again; it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation with them. You can cut all ties with them as you don’t have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behavior. Still, after you forgive them, forgiveness means that you learn from the experience, reserve the learning, and let go of the heavy emotions. You can forgive them and let go of the negative emotions, and you can let them go, too …they don’t have to be in your life anymore.
You see, we are all affected by the people we allow. Our bodies are made of energy; you don’t see it, but it is the same as you don’t see the oxygen you breathe, yet you know it exists. Specific devices can measure energy. The energy field around us is called “Aura.” People surrounding us affect our aura or our energy field. Energy is being exchanged with whom you connect and those negatively affecting your aura, people you feel are draining your energy, like friends who always call to complain or criticize. You need to control your relationship with them as you need your energy for healing and survival. You must protect your energy field, known as your “aura”.
Through my research and studies, I stumbled upon the term “Aka Cord” from Hawaii, which relates to the Sacred Huna teachings. ‘Aka” is described as sticky, elastic connecting threads or cords of our energy that we send out to everything and everyone around us. This connection can be physical or mental (thoughts). We build connections with others with our thoughts. For example, when you are in an elevator surrounded by others, you don’t know and start to think about one or two of them; you are building a connection with that person. When you continue to have specific thoughts about a sibling or co-worker, you are building cords of thoughts and emotions, which can be damaging and would drain your energy.
An incident that happened to me, and you might relate, I was at the lady’s salon and wanted to use the washroom. I knocked on the door first and tried to open it, but it was locked, so I waited. Suddenly and immediately after that, the door was opened, and a lady had a tantrum of anger. It was unjustifiable, yet I apologized to save my energy. Still, she kept going on and on …deep inside, I thought that this person must have a lot ongoing in her life and looked like she would need a lot of love and healing as nothing would justify the anger. Somehow, I felt my energy was down and recalled the aka cord … it is precisely what happened. This encounter built a thread through which the energy flowed between the other lady and me, and I kept thinking about it for a while after the incident. It didn’t feel good. So I intentionally, every time my mind starts to wonder about this incident, I bring my attention and focus on something else, lovely things, and I managed to cut the thread of thoughts and gain back my energy in no time.
Other examples that relate to you from the workplace are when someone sends an email that makes you upset, a friend calls and always complains, or a sibling who always calls to blame you, and the list goes on.
“One of the greatest gifts you can gift yourself is to forgive. Forgive everybody” Maya Angelou
You can start by being mindful of your thoughts, noticing when it happens and bringing your awareness to it, shifting your thinking to something else every time this happens, and by time, you will manage to train your mind and control your thoughts.
Analyze your relationships and whom you allow in your life and their effect on you and your energy
Life coaches can help you deal with forgiveness challenges, heal, manage relationships, and regain energy.
Journaling helps you learn your thoughts, feelings, and reactions
Take a long shower and let the water wash away any negative emotions
There is a technique called Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian practice, which helps in reconciliation and forgiveness
Conclusion
When you forgive, you are doing yourself a big favor, as not only are you healing, but you are also freeing yourself from the control of the other person on you. You are getting rid of all of the negative emotions that keep on building—as a result, causing your anger, anxiety, and stress.
